Today I’m on my way to work in mossel Bay and as I stop at my client and get back to my car, I see it. A massive screw is stuck in my wheel and well, about R1 000.00 later, I had to replace the tyre. Now this might seem like a small event, but when on hormones and counting the days until 2 weeks to find out if you’re pregnant, a small incident like this, can crack you.
From Tiger Wheel and Tyre, after a much needed strong, sweet cup of Rooibos, I moved on to my next client. When I arrived and visited the bathroom, my worst nightmare came true. Obviously, with discovering that I have just started my period, I knew, this didn’t work. Trying to keep a straight face and trying to do my job, while, on the inside, wanting to break down.
When reaching the office later that day, I had to share my new discovery. If it is so difficult to tell my much loved colleagues, how am I going to be able to tell my husband? Will he think that this was my fault? I battled to stay focused the rest of day, fuck this, I’m going home. Got home, but hubby wasn’t there, I cannot be alone. Got to my parents house and they have guests. But the great thing of having a wonderful mother like I have is this, as soon as I walked in and she saw the look on my face, she knew, something is seriously wrong. And before I could say anything, I burst out into tears. Thinking back now, her guest must have thought “what the hell?”
After another cup of strong, sweet tea, I gather what I had left and went to share this news with hubby. To be honest, a little bit afraid of what might be said. As I walked in he could obviously notice by my very red eyes that something is wrong. After breaking the news and having a couple of his cigarettes, he just said, and then we will do it again.
That night I did what I could to make myself feel better.............chocolates, coffee, cigarettes, whatever we had at home, I used it. Went to bed, wrote the following in my dairy, prayed to God, picked up my courage and strength that I had left and went for round nr. 2 the next morning.
DAIRY ENTRY:
So, try nr 1 het nie gewerk nie. Nie meer so hartseer nie, ogies moeg en branderig, maar okay. Nou weet ek waarvoor om myself in te laat. Baie vrae om more te vra. Ewe skielik is die tyre incident nie meer so ‘n groot issue nie. Die Here het vir my ‘n pad. Hy het my geken nog voordat ek gebore was. Hy sal vir my en Vallie gee wat ons toe kom. Daar is soveel om voor dankbaar te wees. In plaas van 5 gesmuchde naels, het ek vanaand net 2. Ek wil weer begin oefen, beter voel oor myself, om sexy te lyk in my nuwe jeans.
Here dankie:
- ‘n Wonderlike man
- Ondersteunende ouers en Nicky
- My tak het vandag gekook, 10 kwotasies gedoen
LIEFDE!! HOOP!!!
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