Love between sisters

So this morning, busy franticly to organize everything for my visit with my Area Manager, Rosey sends me these 2 pictures. My speed is broken and tears ran to my eyes. How special!! To witness the love between these two sisters. We are just so blessed.

Stupid comments

Now people, if you think you’ve heard it all, you have heard nothing yet........................

If you are like me, that get extremely quickly irritated by dumb people asking kak questions, this one is for you.

So for this exercise, please bear in mind that Rosey is a big part of my life, we do alot together, that I am white and Rosey not. And most of these scenes are playing of in the mall. All 3 the girls are usually dressed exactly the same and usually in pink.

1. “Dis darem ‘n wit baba?” Commented an older, white lady to her husband, while walking behind Rosey. On which Rosey will reply: “Ja, die pa is wit.”

2. “Is dit ‘n 3ling?” Nee tannie, ek het die 4de eenetjie opgeeet oppad mall toe, was net so honger, kon myself nie help nie.

3. “Is dit almal dogtertjes?” Nee, ek hou daarvan om my seuntjies in pienk aan te trek?

4. All dressed the same.............”Ag, my moeder, 2 dogtertjies en ‘n seuntje!” Rerig?

Really people, enough with all the questions. Just take a deep breath and focus and you will see that this is 3, not 1, not 2, but 3 GIRLS. Please note the pink.

Romantic Love

So when one first meets your "soulmate" you are entirely, utterly in love and your whole world will just collapse without that one special person.

So keeping this in mind, I found something that I have written a long, long time ago, for my now husband, but then romatic love.

"Ek maak my oe toe, en my hart klop...........kan jy dit hoor? Ek voel jou arms om my, dit trek nader. Tyd staan stil. Ek voel opgewonde, senuweeagtig, 16. Dan kom dit bymekaar en ek kan dit nie stop nie. Ek wil nie he dit moet nie. Lippe so sag teen myne, haal my hart uit, sit dit in joune, hou dit vas, dis 'n roler coaster. Maar tog so lekker. Ek voel jou passie en sien 'n bietjie van jou siel. Ek hou daarvan."

Our first year

I have to admit, at some stage I thought I wouldn’t make it. I might run away. Very quickly I found out that this is a totally normal reaction.

Our year started off with Bianca getting Bronchitis within the first 2 months, which was a scary ordeal, as this was my first sick child and I was so afraid that something might happen to her. But after being at the Pediatrition and receiving a nebuliser, anti-biotics and meds we were doing well and survived our first sick child. Now, at this stage, one will think that I had a slight idea as to what might still be coming. Believe you me, you have no idea. The shit is still about to hit the fan.

I went back to work July 2012, the girls being 4 days short of 2 months, I didn’t have any other choice, we needed my full income and my assistant was busy resigning, so we needed a new, fresh face at the office and I was the one to do it. In some way, I was also relieved to be going back to work, I loved my girls from day 1, but those small babies weren’t for me. I needed some of my own space. And of course one’s afraid to leave the girls with anyone when you go to work, but Rosey love them just as much as we do.

While doing interviews, being a new parent and trying to keep head above water in my life, my husband phoned me with the most exciting news ever. Now before I tell you, I searched all avenues when the girls were born. I didn’t breast feed so I phoned Parmalat and asked what are the changes for a donation or otherwise just better prices if we’re willing to buy in bulk? Parmalat, the perfect company, very quickly told me that breast feeding is the best thing for your babies so they do not promote by donations or any other form of support, we must breast feed. Just there and then I thought: “the idiot that made that decision must be a man!!!” Every mother wants or would like to try to breast feed, but what about mothers like me or mothers that just don’t have the tools? I also phoned Government and found out they will give us subsidy if it was 4 babies, damn, missed it by 1.

“WE RECEIVED A DIAPER SPONSORSHIP OF 5 000 DIAPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Heaven rained upon us. The wonderful Heather Park Spar in George was so generous with this sponsor. Do you have any idea how much diapers 5 000 are? We had diapers EVERYWHERE in our house, under the girl’s cots, in the spare room cupboards, the girl’s cupboards, everywhere. And this lasted us until about May 2012, so almost a year. I am experiencing much difficulty getting into the habit of buying diapers now. It’s like the first time.

After this excitement myself, my sister and mother decided on a girl’s night at my sister’s house. All the men were looking after the triplets. We didn’t have a major one, just some red wine and pizzas, but it’s always so nice to get out of the house and just be you, a person. Not a mother, not a wife, just me!! We slept over, which was also great.

Then we decided it was time to have a photo shoot or two. I have a very dear friend of mine that took photos of the girls when they were about 4 months old. And not much longer after that we took our first big family photo’s, my parents, my sister and her family and my new family, we had so much fun. And the girls where just gorgeous. Caitlin fell asleep in her dad’s arms while busy with the photos’. Shame!!

All wasn’t just laughs; we had one hell of a weekend, somewhere around the same time. It started with friends of my hubby that stayed with us, but had to do shows all over George and surrounding areas. While the men were being chauffeured between the different venues. Things at home started to get a bit out of hand. I think it started on Thursday night with just a bad sleeping night, but by Sunday we had 3 screaming babies. I think I was screaming the loudest. First thing Monday morning, with black circles around our eyes, we pitched up at the Paediatricians offices. It ended up that all the girls had the flu and ear infections. What a weekend! Strange how these things always happen on weekends. The vicious cycle with something like this, is that even the parents don’t get to eat or sleep. When the time presents itself to do either one of the two, all you want to do is sleep, but you need to eat to keep the energy levels up. During the rest of the year we experienced some more difficult nights, but not as bad as this weekend. All in the name of parenthood.

Support Groups – I attended some of the local mum support groups, but found it wasn’t for me. First of all most of the mums only had 1 baby, which took me somewhat out of the equation. And the multiple support groups weren’t for me either. Most of the mothers had twins and was about a year older than my girls, so I felt I couldn’t relate so much as to what they were talking about. I did however realize how lucky we were to have healthy babies from day 1.

Media & the public – when having multiples a couple of things need to be understood. The public and media might be supportive or even nosy. Either way, they want the whole scoop. How we are doing, how we are coping, etc, etc. So we did a couple of public photo shoot. The first one in the hospital, the day before we went home. The second one when we received the diaper sponsorship. And the third one was more recently for the Fathers day edition. The public on the other hand do not realize that we have more children than parents, but the parents have the same fears as a parent with only one or two babies. We also have the fear of losing a child. A child being stolen or even kidnapped. Now for some or other reason, most of the people think that it’s okay to pick your child up, without parent permission. But hey, this is just another bridge to cross. And honestly, I am battling with this one. But while doing all these pictures a very nice lady offered to do the Baby Gym sessions with us, after much deliberation we agreed and enjoyed it allot. I think it was just something nice and different to do with the family. And the girls even graduated.

So November started and I was a busy bee organising dresses and outfits for the Christening of the girls. What a very special moment. To thank God for the wonderful gifts that he has given us. And a beautiful occasion to share with friends and family.

 Not much longer after this event we found ourselves in our first hospital outing. Bianca had ear infection almost every second week and the decision were made to give her grommets. It was a very long, emotional day, but we survived. And she did better than expected. We, as parents can blow something like this right out of the water, putting much more stress upon ourselves than needed. She was such a strong girl. And this small operation changed our world.

December came with much excitement. It started with my dear God parents that came to visit all the way from Namibia. We had so much laughs. And ended in a slight chaotic first Barnard Christmas day. The girls were absolutely gorgeous! But on Christmas night we landed up with Bianca in hospital again. This time what was diagnosed as a stomach flu ended up to be bladder infection.

First week in the New Year we went to Cape Town for our first family holiday. It was great. We walked around at the V&A Waterfront, shopped and just took a break even if it was only for an hour. At this time we also realized that children will not die when they are screaming themselves to sleep. The parents on the other hand might not make it. The same month we found out a dear friend of mine is pregnant with her first baby. What a miracle! After strongly believing and being told by multiple doctors that she will never conceive a miracle was show. We also had my God Childs second Birthday, and Megan enjoyed that Barney Birthday cake so much.

Not much longer after this, I went for my first maintenance operation. I carried so much weight with my pregnancy that I had trouble with my left knee and had to go for a scope where they removed some bone. I had an extreme fear of this operation, but after going to trauma counselling, I went into theatre very relaxed and experienced the easiest operation I have ever had.

So April didn’t just start off with the great news of one of our friends, after 10 years, fell pregnant with twins. But I also started planning, planning our first Birthday party!! The cake! The party packs! The outfits! The invitations! So early in May we had the girl’s first Birthday party and it was just perfect. The girls enjoyed it. As well as the children that actually had a clue about what was happening. And once again I realised that we plan more than enjoying the day. It all just went by so quickly. So soon we will be planning number 2.

Strange how things work out. I went for my 1 year check up at the Gynagologists offices and found out that I will be able to fall pregnant naturally and maybe even have another set of triplets. I was producing so many eggs. But just 2 years prior I wasn’t producing any. Strange.

I had my first Mothers Day in Hout Bay, Cape Town, followed by a week’s holiday. I visited some friends and family. Was a very nice experience.

Cannot wait to see what will happen within the next year..............what a blessing!!!

Different Angels among us

Over the past 2 years I have heard some amazing stories. Stories that I will think of as 2012 fairy tales. At the same time thinking back about my own experience, I wonder where/when we would have drawn the line.

1. Amazing fairy tale of 2 of my friends going through the adoption process. Just within that fairy tale there are a couple of angels.

Like the adopting mother and father, I salute you! That your heart is just soooo big to accommodate a little girl that will need so much love.

And at the same time, I get tears in my eyes for the mother losing her baby and the newborn who hasn’t asked for any of this.

All of these angels strangely need one another.

These are the loving angels.

2. We heard horrific stories of multiples landing up in ICU and only going home weeks, sometimes months after they’ve been born. The parents couldn’t be able to hold the babies and give them the love that they need. Brothers and sisters being split and need to survive on their own, after being so used to being together for weeks. When I listen to these remarkable people, the doctors that assisted them, I can only think, that God has chosen these parents for a different reason.

And they are the strong angels.

3. My husband had an exceptional experience on that dreadful Monday. While waiting outside the ICU room and doctors fighting drastically inside. A man came to him and told him: “She will be fine.” My husband didn’t know this man. He didn’t work at the hospital. What seemed strange at that moment, thinking back, this was God’s right-hand-man.

The faithful and encouraging angels.

Walk with open eyes through the passages of life, because you might walk past an angel and not notice him/her.

You might not see the wings, but it surely is there.

"God's Wings

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. the loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

"He will cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you will find refuge."

(Psalm 91:4)

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have."

5 Tips

1. Be Willing – instead of pointing finger at your spouse, take responsibility for the attitudes and behaviours you can change in your own life. Let down your defences and listen attentively to each other. Honestly admit your mistakes. Apologize and ask your spouse for forgiveness. The words, I’m sorry for.” Can turn the tide on a stormy relationship.

2. Be Hopeful – Believe that your marriage can be saved. Unite together to work on your relationship. Agree to pray together for one or two minutes each day for the next 30 days; asking God to help you save your marriage. Remember, the greatest source of true hope is found in an open Bible.

3. Be Resourceful – Confide in a trusted friend, mentor, or wise pastor who can help. It isn’t necessary to broadcast your troubles to everyone, but telling one or two people who will encourage your reconciliation is vital. Seek the advice of a mature couple who’ve been through the fire and come out stronger.

4. Be Patient – The troubles in your marriage didn’t just happen overnight. Therefore, it’s going to take some time and effort to get your marriage back on the right track. Honour the process of restoring your relationship. Don’t rush to take action against your spouse by starting legal proceedings that will divide you. Instead, patiently pursue reconciliation.

5. Be Faithful – Sometimes when a relationship is unsatisfying, it’s tempting to seek pleasure elsewhere. No matter how these things might feel, the arms of another person, spending large sums of money, drinking excessively, or indulging in pornography will not bring you lasting satisfaction. Make a conscious decision to remain faithful to God, your spouse, and your family. Spend your life wisely by coping with your difficulties in healthy ways.

The Warrior Wife

Everybody knows marriage is difficult, particularly if you don't put the time and effort into building a strong foundation. It gets easier with time, but during the process of growing into mature, selfless spouses, marriage requires a will to fight for the union. Marriage is not for the weak-minded of soft-hearted. Marriage is for warriors. To be a warrior-wife you must be willing to go to war for your marriage. This doesn't mean you are paranoid about something going wrong. What it means is that you take proactive steps to strengthen the marriage bond and protect your family from negative influences. So, if and when trouble comes, your marriage will withstand hard times.

1. A prayer warrior: a wife who knows the power of prayer. She intercedes for her husband and children. She doesn't wait for hard times to pray; she prays in good times and in bad times. When her husband needs prayer, he asks his wife because he knows she has a deep relationship with God. Her prayers soothe and comfort her family. They rebuke evil and cast out negativity. They declare goodness and favour in their lives. Not only does she pray, but she also believes what she prays.

2. A worship warrior: a wife is not afraid to praise and worship God. She knows where her help comes from, and she expresses her gratefulness wherever and whenever the Spirit moves her. "Thank you, Lord", is her praise song.

3. A word warrior: a wife who uses her words to speak life and wisdom to her husband and children. She knows how to encourage herself and her family in the Lord. Her words heal, comfort, and correct with love. On the other hand, she doesn't hesitate to speak in defence of her family when others try to harm them. She knows her tongue is a mighty weapon, so she uses it wisely.

4. A mother warrior: A wife who doesn't play when it comes to her children. She teaches them about God, about respect from themselves, and about the importance of family. A mother-warrior believes her role as a mother is a divine responsibility and that God will hold her accountable for how she rears her children. As such, she does whatever it takes to make sure her children feel safe and loved; are fed and clothed; and are educated properly.

5. A financial warrior: a wife who can take a few dollars and make a meal that tastes like a million bucks. She doesn't complain about what the family doesn't have; instead, she knows how to make do with what they do have. She plans for rainy days and helps her husband provide for the family.

6. A discernment warrior: a wife with a sixth sense to see and feel what's good and what's bad for the marriage. Because she prays regularly and hears from God, she can sense when someone has malicious intentions towards her family or when someone is a genuine friend.

7. A household warrior: a wife who protects the peace and sanctity of the home. She doesn't allow negativity to infiltrate the home environment because she knows the home should be the safest place in the world for her family.

8. A sexual warrior: a safe who isn't afraid to enjoy physical intimacy with her husband. She initiates sex and enjoys pleasing her husband. When the love life goes lacking or gets monotonous, she steps up to re-energize things.

9. A confidence warrior: a wife who makes her man feels like he can do anything he sets his mind to. She is a constant encourager who believes in her husband when he doesn't believe in himself.

10. A purpose-driven warrior: a wife who knows that God has a purpose for her marriage. She's willing to fight for it when others say she should give up. She partners with her husband to achieve their marriage and family goals. Her motto is "Let's do this!" I want to encourage you to embrace the warrior inside of you. As wives and future-wives, we don't have to accept whatever life throws at us. God made us in His image, which means we have the power to create the marriages and lives we deserve.

Every woman has a warrior on the inside of her. That’s why “a man finds a wife, finds a treasure and has favour with the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22) that treasure is his warrior-wife who is not afraid to fight for their love!!!

My scars, your home.

A mark for every breath you took, every blink,every sleepy yawn.

One for every time you sucked your tumb, waved hello, closed your eyes, and slept in the most perfect darkness.

One foe every time you had the hiccups.

One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn't very pretty anymore.

Some may even think it's ugly.

That's OK.

It was your home.

It held you untill my arms could,

and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it.

-Cassie Fox-